Freedom to…..

I just finished reading ‘After the Boxes are Unpacked’ by Susan Miller. It’s a book promoted by Focus on the Family, full of insight into all a woman goes through when she moves across the country and starts her life all over. A blessing to me, and probably to my husband too, as it should take me through bumps in the road moving tends to bring.

One of the biggest things I gleaned from her book was the freedom moving brings. We’ve moved six times in our thirty years together, usually across the country but those moves didn’t feel very freeing. They felt tiring and overwhelming and full of the challenges of a husband learning a new job, kids trying to find friends and fit in, houses that needed more help than we could afford or my husband had time for, and pressures that came from having to jump into new lives immediately. Sometimes we were barely moved in and I’d find myself sitting in bleachers cheering one of our kids on and somehow by the end of the game I’d become the team carpool and person in charge of the end-of-season picnic or selling raffle tickets before every game.

Reading Susan’s book I see this move for the freedom it offers.

Freedom to move wherever we wanted. The choice was wide open.  We never had a choice before – we just followed the paycheck. It’s so lovely that this time the paycheck follows us!

Freedom to find a new church. We loved our old church, but had gotten stuck in the same areas of serving, spending time with the same people, aggravated about the same things, etc. etc. etc. Being able to choose a new church offers fresh areas to serve in, new styles of worship, new wisdom from a different pastor, new women to meet at Bible study and couples in Sunday School this fall, new ministries offered. The church we’re focusing on ministers mostly to the needy in the community by running a food pantry and clothing bank and we’re going to check out serving there as a couple.

Freedom to fill my calendar differently, or not at all. No obligations. No appointments. Brand new choices of how to spend my time, where to volunteer. Maybe the humane society or the library or the Salvation Army. I’ve spent my time serving at church, and never seemed to have enough time left over to serve in the community. Don does NOT feel called to bathe dogs at the shelter but it appeals to me since we can’t have one of our own right now. He’s drawn to helping with Habitat for Humanity.

Freedom to be completely me. Nobody here knows me. There are no expectations. They don’t know my story and I can choose how much of it to share with those I meet. Maybe I’ll bless new friends with less of my story! I don’t have to the be funny one, or the serious one, or the organized one, or the one who will always say yes when asked to do something I don’t really want to do. I can start over, pray and think over priorities and how I want to spend my time. OUR time since my husband is now retired. How much time do we need alone, now that we are together 24/7.  Time apart can be a beautiful thing too.

Freedom to choose new friends, maybe different types of friends, this time. Friends who challenge me to be a better me. Friends who hold me accountable. Friends who tell me the truth, gently, when I need to hear it, are quick to give hugs, or laugh til we shoot coffee out our noses (a fun memory of a PA friend). This time around I’d like to be the friend I want to have. One who is loyal and honest (but not too honest sometimes) and fun to be with. Who remembers birthdays and takes the time to listen more than talk. I ordered ‘Welcome, Simple Ways to Open Your Heart & Home to Others’ by Karen Ehman since we don’t have much hospitality experience under our belts, and hopefully some new friends will come into our lives as couples.

Freedom to grow in new ways – I just ordered beginner piano music on Amazon and can’t wait for it to arrive! For years I’ve wanted to learn to play the piano and there’s no reason now that I can’t. I’ve rejoined Weight Watchers online (no groups meeting out here in the boondocks!), and my iPod stays charged up for early morning walks around the neighborhood before it heats up. I can quit talking about getting fit and do it.

Freedom to take on a new style – whether it’s my hair, or my clothes, or my home, or even what I cook. I can start over, try new things. I may just go with this naturally curly hair God ‘blessed’ me with since the humidity makes any other choice pretty high maintenance.

Freedom to spend time with grown children and grandchildren we haven’t lived near for years. To watch them grow and be a part of their lives on a more constant level. We now have time to take vacations with our daughter and her family, who we left behind. We’ve got a trip to meet them in the Smokey Mountains scheduled for late August. A week of swimming, fishing, making smores at night, and celebrating our son-in-law’s and grandson’s birthdays together is bound to make for precious memories. We’ve agreed this will be an annual thing so we can stay invested in (soon to be 4) Landon’s life as he grows up. (I just ordered a copy of ‘Grandmother: How to Stay Close to Distant Grandchildren’, by Selma Wassermann for some help in this area.)

Maybe, just maybe, some of you could use the freedom to start over too – but you’re not moving. Susan’s book might show you some areas of your life that could use a fresh start, and give you the courage to change them, even if you’re staying put right where you are.

Just a thought.