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Keys to Lasting Friendships

November 6, 2010

Now that the weather is changing, and temperatures are finally dropping, it seemed like a good time to curl up with one of the dust-covered Bible studies from my bookshelf. Thinking about what’s going on in my life, where I’m at physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally – I chose Carol Kent’s “Six Keys to Lasting Friendships”.

Carol gave a list of 15 things you might look for in a friend. You were to check off any that were important to you, then choose your top five. Here’s what I went with:

#1 A personality I enjoy (Carol said – “intelligence, spiritual depth, and a great sense of humor are a few traits I’d be seeking – what would you look for?”) We need to enjoy being together!

#2 A commitment to each other, while allowing the other person to enjoy the freedom of time alone, other friendships, and individual personhood. I need a friend who gives me some space to knit and read and quilt, even if she doesn’t. And I’m still praying for a friend who does share my passions.

#3 A compassionate heart that cheers when I succeed and feels my pain when I fail. “Nice matters” – ‘nuf said.

#4 A spiritual bonding as friends (hard to define, but your heart tells you when you have it) – We become like those we surround ourselves with, for good or bad.

#5 An individual who can expect all of the above from me without make me feel the weight of obligation if I don’t measure up. Iron sharpens iron.

There’s no way any friend God sends my way is going to be exactly what I’m hoping / praying for, but then I’m not either. I want my life to be lived intentionally, so it makes sense to me to be intentional in choosing friends too. And being one.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. November 6, 2010 8:24 pm

    Interesting post! Gave me something to think about as well.

  2. November 7, 2010 11:20 am

    Great points! I’ve been thinking about friendships as well, as I am outgrowing a lot of my early mommy friends as my girls have hit middle school. I am praying for friends to encourage and be encouraged by, and for someone to laugh myself silly with:-)

    Love these tips and the idea of considering what matters to me:-)

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