On the Move Back to Where I Was…

You can find me here. I’m more of a jeans and sweatshirt kind of girl, and wordpress was just too prissy for me. Hope you’ll follow me back home.

In the Company of Friends…

Maybe it’s just me that thinks so; I suspect not. Men’s friendships are sooooo simple. And not very satisfying. Men make friends based on shared hobbies or work or exposure. They generally don’t go real deep – just being together counts as a great get-together.

Women’s friendships are a whole ‘nother animal; so much more complicated. Complicated enough that they have levels, or go by rules of how many fingers you have on your hand, or what season in life you’re in. Having moved around the country for the last thirty years, women’s friendship is something that’s been of interest to me. It’s puzzled, confused, and wounded me, especially when I was given a schooling on how someone’s circle was already complete and there was no room for me. It’s also surprised me at times when I wasn’t expecting it to pop up, or grow. When I’ve been warmly encouraged to join in with what I expected would be a closed group.

I read an article in the paper this week (written by a woman, of course) that brought a lot of light and freedom to the whole subject. Maybe it’ll interest you? She started by saying:

“Not all friendships are meant to last forever.” Well, Amen to that!

The author said what we’ve all heard – that friendships are for a reason, season, or lifetime.

Reason – might be the club you join, or sports your kids are involved in, that sort of thing. You share that activity or event but not much else. Nice light friendships. You don’t get a whole lot out of them, but not much is required either. Everyone needs some of those.

Season – a mom’s play group might be a godsend when you have two or three toddlers. I have a daughter who is involved in MOPS and is greatly blessed by it. I could have used MOPS back in the day. When I worked full time, or part-time it was a blessing to have a few friends who also worked, and would take some time now and then to go shopping, to lunch, to fit in some girl time when we could. Now that we’re retired I am thankful for the friends I’ve made who also have retired husbands. Our schedules match, our frustrations and joys match, our calendars match. It would be hard for me to have close friends whose husbands still work and they are available all day long.

Lifetime – the ones you can count on your fingers, likely on one hand. And you may not need the thumb. I’ve had some dear, dear friends – we were so close while we were involved in the ‘reason’ or ‘season’ that it felt like we’d stay in touch for a ‘lifetime’. But when you have miles between you, and you get involved in your new life it’s awfully hard to stay in touch with those you left behind in a way that will sustain the friendship at the same level it was before.

Oh that we could give each other the freedom to move on – open our hand to let go, little by little, of those ‘reason’ and ‘season’ friendships, being thankful for what was. Knowing they will move on too, to other reasons, seasons and lifetimes.

Those few that take up the fingers on one hand? They don’t need nearly the maintaining the others do. You can go months, even years without talking or seeing each other, and when you do you just pick up where you left off. You know you treasure each other.

We’re blessed with so many ways to stay in touch these days; it’s just a matter of putting some friendships down completely, popping in to say hello and keep up with what’s going on in each other’s lives for the others, and learning what to really cherish. I’ve made the mistake of approaching a new friendship as if we’re going to be joined at the hip for life; seeing the whole ball of wax differently is like a breath of fresh air for me.

How about you? Has anyone out there struggled with this? Are you one of those who agrees that having 200 ‘friends’ on Facebook or Twitter doesn’t do much to comfort when your heart is hurting? When you need a real live, breathing person to sit across the table and share a cup of coffee and her heart? Have you completely figured it out? Or maybe you’re still just hoping and praying for that ‘reason’ or ‘season’ friend. What are your thoughts?

Giddy with anticipation….

My daughter, Sarah, gave me yarn, needles and a book – How to Knit Socks – for Christmas. So we drove 2800 miles to and from Pittsburgh and I knitted and knitted and knitted.

I’m just about ready to knit the toe. Right now it looks like it’ll fit Princess Fiona. Sarah assures me it’ll shrink when I block it. I’ll let you know.

New Year Happies…

It’s hard to say which I’m the most happy about…. I’m tickled to pieces over this. All three of our kids have versions of this gadget, and at their advice we went with a Keurig. I’m in love with the Chai Latte and at only 70 calories and about 50 cents it’s a bargain both ways, compared to the same offering at Starbucks.
The coffee isn’t the point (although it does make me really happy). The labels! Isn’t life just better with a good labeler. I read about one in January’s issue of Real Simple magazine and picked one up at Target this past week. I totally copied the label one of our kids has on their coffee because it makes me smile every time I read it.

Then there’s this – Don took our under-stairs closet and converted it into a pantry for me.

It’s right off the kitchen and right inside the garage door, where the groceries come in 🙂

Here’s his finished work. He even put two hooks on the right side for me to hang my purse and take-to-town bag. Here it is after we stopped at Walmart with my list. Just about anything you’d like for dinner I can whip up now. It’s easy to see if we’re low on TP or paper towels or such. Potatoes and onions moved out of my pot drawers – so much better.

I keep telling him, he didn’t need to be so cute. I would have loved him anyway for his handiness around the house.

Cheryl won!

Comment number 19, Cheryl, who is building up a collection of cookbooks and promised me she would encase it in a ziploc, won! Cheryl, if you will send a mailing address to my email on the sidebar, I will pop it in the mail this week. Enjoy!

Giving Away Paula Deen!

Remember when I mentioned , on my 2011 reading list, that I would be giving away some books? I was referring to fiction mostly, but I just went through my cookbooks. When I realized I was only referring to two recipes in ‘Paula Deen and Friends’ I thought it was a good one to give away. To a better home. One that will really use it.

If you think you might splatter the pages with gravy, and smear them with butter (Paula would love that!), leave me a comment. I’ll draw a name next Tuesday, 1/18 and promptly send it on its way to you.

The two recipes I copied? Shrimp and Grits and Shrimp and Wild Rice Casserole. A theme going on I do believe.

There but for the grace of God….

It was so much work, just to make it in the door, her walker banging and bumping against the frame. While she was settling into the chair by the check-in desk, I asked her ‘how are you today?’ She lifted her head, looked at me and said, ‘I don’t feel very good today.’

I saw dull eyes and a weathered face.  The smell of her breath coming across the desk at me made it hard to speak for a minute. I told her I was sorry, and asked what was wrong. She told me she wasn’t getting over her hip surgery from six months ago as fast as she should and she’d already fallen twice. She was way too young to have had hip surgery, to be using a walker, to have such sad eyes, to reek of alcohol mid-day.

At a meeting of volunteers the week before, we’d been reminded ‘Be Jesus to those who come through the door.’ I might be the only kind voice she heard that day, so I asked her questions, encouraged her to talk to me, and listened to her. A voice that lacked any enthusiasm. Hopelessness.

When I asked her if she was there for food, or clothing, or both, she told me ‘just food.’ In spite of the raggy clothes she was wearing it would be too hard for her to get up and move around the clothing rooms, so ‘just food.’

Fifty years old, skinny, worn out, stringy dirty hair, dull eyes and a face that did not have a shred of hope showing on it. How did she get here? What string of days and years and bad decisions and circumstances and lack of possibilities got her where she is today? How do you reach a point in life where your eyes are that dull? Where there is no hope of anything beyond a next meal? When you don’t really care much about that?

God, help me be Jesus to her, just for a moment. Help me make her feel valued and given dignity in spite of anything and everything.

There but for the grace of God go I.

Settling in for a cozy weekend…

So to finish the rambling conversation we were having….

New grandbaby is a B.O.Y.! They have a little girl already.  How fun for big sister to boss around, fun to see those photos of her sucking him into playing dressup, playing with Barbies, her being coached early on to pick up critters and such, and also him teaching her some noises are just funny…. With two tall parents, I have visions of a basketball goal going up early, with fun games played in the driveway.

Our new car is N.E.W.!
We’ve never, ever bought a new car, but the incentives were too good to pass up. So we didn’t. We knew what we were looking for, and they had it on the lot. I’m not sure which I’m more tickled over – the moon roof, that there is no trace of McDonald’s smell in it, or that it gets 34 MPG on the road. Which we’re on a lot. We’ve driven 250 miles since we picked it up, and the tank is still half full. Watching how slowly the gas gauge needle falls is as fascinating as if I was watching brain surgery.

My daughter-in-law, Janae told me about these socks. They are low cut to wear with tennis shoes, but the best thing about them is the little extra part added on at the back of the heel. They are absolutely fabulous to wear! When I had trouble locating them she told me to look at Target, but her best tip – buy men’s footies, not women’s. They are better quality and also tend to fit your foot better if you wear anything over a size 9. Well worth the money.

The bird has persisted, and I bought these online to remedy the problem. She’s been pecking at our back window now for days, hour after hour, so I’m about to grab some windex and newspapers, give the windows a good cleaning then stick these decals up. I’ll let you know if they work. They are a bit cheesy looking but it has to be better than the constant pecking we’re listening to now.

After a full two days in the metroplex we crawled home last night and tucked ourselves in as early as possible. Waking to music, I wondered what on earth? This new retiree didn’t even recognize the sound. The alarm clock was calling my name, dragging out of bed to get back in the car, sans makeup, to join our Saturday Morning Breakfast Club. A group of women from our church – nothing exclusive about it and don’t I love that. If you want to come, show up. Every single Saturday morning, 7:30 a.m. at Denny’s where you share joys and sorrows and laughs and pay your own bill. It was one of my New Year’s Resolutions – to be faithful in my commitment to this group. Driving our new car this morning with the radio turned up wasn’t all bad. I’m not a speed demon but I do have to say those small cars sure do hug the road, don’t they?

We’re supposedly about to be hit by cold or sleet or something that sends Texans scurrying. We’ll either drive into church if it’s passable, or stay in pajamas and read the paper extra long if it’s not. Being forced to stay at home for 24 hours would be a gift. There’s knitting and sewing and baking and reading all calling my name. Hope everybody out there has a great weekend lined up too. First week of January is in the bag 🙂

Rambling…

I’m reading Jan Karon’s “In The Company of Others”.  I dreamed of having tea with Prince Charles, decided Princess Diana was more of the ticket, eventually kicked them both off my list, put Ruth Bell Graham on there, she’s in heaven now, so I’ve replaced them all with Jan Karon. It would be so lovely to listen to the heart of the person who wrote all those Mitford novels. It’s a happy note that our new pastor reminds me a bit of Father Tim (from the novels), without the robes. Looking for a devotional to use this new year, I was intrigued by Jan Karon mentioning ‘The Morning Office’ in her books, and a google search led me to The Book of Common Prayer. I found this link online . It has a fresh feel from anything I’ve done the past 30+ years; a bit more world-wide, one-church. Reading, and mentally reciting the Apostle’s Creed reminds me of my younger days. I’ve been non-denominational, with Baptist leanings, for years (the never to be mentioned on a blog but there it is). See what you think. Or not. If you don’t love The Morning Office, at least check out the novel 🙂

My looks haven’t changed. I tried to update my profile photo and for the love of Mike I can’t get a photo to insert on my blog. There are days I don’t love wordpress, but right now it’s just taking too much effort to bother. I went with a new header because it worked the first try. Soon as I get a new haircut the vanity in me might rise up and I’ll work on it again.

We’re going green after driving a gas-guzzling SUV for the past 12 years. Our current mileage begins with a ‘1’ unless we’re on the highway and then it’s only marginally better. So we’re heading into the metroplex later this week, and hopefully we’ll come home in something that stops at the gas pump much less often. Driving a vehicle whose mileage begins with a ‘3’ sounds so delicious to me, and the fact that the model we’ve marked comes with a sunroof as a standard feature – oh my! Something I’ve always, always, always wanted. Much better than a convertible – with a convertible all my papers and snacks and books would be flying willy-nilly. Visions of driving down the highway, sunroof open, wind blowing through my hair that doesn’t show on this blog because I can’t get a profile photo to post….

We’re living in a sermon….. Huge windows at the back of the house afford a lakeview. We’ve had bird after bird bash into it, they lie there stunned, or dead. Those seasonal plastic decals on the window did nothing. Ttwo days ago Mrs. Cardinal became obsessed with our lower left pane. She continually whacked into it yesterday from dawn to dusk, with no stopping. I dragged all the patio chairs up next to it. Just shortened her kamikaze path. This morning she began again, before 7 am so I’ve taped foil to the entire lower window – it looks lovely – and helped NONE. There is a constant, CONSTANT noise of her bashing her body into the window. Her husband, or beau, sits on the patio table, watching her. Any tips? Is God trying to tell me something?

Did I ever announce on here that we have another grandbaby on the way? Due one day removed from my birthday, thanks to our son and daughter-in-law, and we were asked to attend the sonogram this Friday to find out whether I should knit pink or blue…. That will be #6 and we’re feeling mightily blessed with so many little ones added to our family-fold. Little people are such a nice addition.

We found out our Pennsylvania kids are moving to Idaho in the spring. We are over the moon for them, and us. The trek to PA was 1300 miles and Idaho is 2100 miles away. We love road trips! Especially in non-gas-guzzling cars with sunroofs. We’re so excited about all that part of the country offers – Yellowstone, Glacier National Park, my husband quickly rattled off a list of future trips.  We plan to drive up there later this summer when we’re weary of the Texas heat, and maybe, just maybe I can connect with Gretchen, a blogging friend, who lives in Washington. My PA girlfriends have been given notice – we’ll need to schedule a yearly girl weekend to stay in touch from here on out.

We’re busy with cleaning closets and giving away unworn clothing, setting up schedules for housecleaning, simple meals that hopefully lend themselves to shedding some pounds, and planning to remove wallpaper, paint bedrooms, and find a friend to keep Miss Kitty company while we’re on the road. So it’s hopping around here!

That’s it for what’s up at Sweet Tea right now. If anyone has a tip on how to get a bird to quit bashing into your house that does not involve a pellet gun, it would be much appreciated!

Reading List for 2011

This year’s reading list is a mismash of fiction, non-fiction, classics, current issues and plain ole fun, with no particular order.  I’ll grab one, and when I finish it, grab another.

I already own a few, a dozen are downloaded to my iPad, the local library has some, and Sarah and I share books. Don and I are looking forward to reading a few together which should make for fun and interesting conversations over a glass of wine in the evening or while we’re on the road.

There a few blank spots, so I’m open to suggestions. Maybe something on my list will be just the book you want to grab off the shelf. As I finish reading the ones I own I’ll do some giveaways too.

Here it is in all its glory:

1. The Hole in Our Gospel, Richard Stearns
2. My Antonia, Willa Sibert Cather
3. Death Comes for the Archbishop, Willa Sibert Cather
4. Quo Vadis, Henry K. Sienkiewicz
5. Texas, James Michener *
6. The Brothers Karamazov, Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoevsky
7. Chronicles of Narnia, C S Lewis *
8. Jane Eyre, Charlotte Bronte
9. Her Mother’s Hope, Francine Rivers
10. Story of Edgar Sawtelle, David Wroblewski
11. Her Daughter’s Dream, Francine Rivers
12. In the Company of Others, Jan Karon (currently reading, #2 in the Father Tim series)
13. Embracing Your Second Calling, Dale Hanson Bourke
14. When Helping Hurts, Steve Corbett
15. Cry the Beloved Country, Alan Paton
16. Outrageous, Contagious Joy, Ed Young *
17. Hannah Coulter, Wendell Berry
18. Fried Green Tomatoes, Fannie Flagg
19. Get Out of That Pit, Beth Moore
20. Dancing with my Father, Sally Clarkson
21. Decision Points, George Bush *
22. To be added
23. To be added
24. To be added

Two per month, some would make a good doorstop, some are a pretty easy read. Some were written well over 100 years ago, some in 2010. There are favorite authors in there, and new ones whose names I can’t spell, let alone pronounce.  Add to that a read through of the Bible, Beth Moore’s study of Daniel with our church women, it looks to be a great year of reading.

I’ve read a quote that goes something like: “there are two things that change who you are – what you read and who you spend time with.” Here’s to reading in 2011 that’s a learning, entertaining, priority-defining, and life shaping experience!